Dad Jokes

A SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks "may I join you?"

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

My husband and I were happy for 20 years. And then we met.

Have a great weekend! I hope your code behaves the same on Monday as it did on Friday.

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!" to which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."

If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

"Can I tell you a TCP joke?" "Please tell me a TCP joke." "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."